Why Do Our Children Lie? By; Bev Gayman

I remember one time, I was 15 years old, my mom found cigarettes in my book bag. I told her they weren't mine, that they belonged to a friend, I was just holding them for her. Well, little did I know, my mom knew her mom and she was going to call her. I couldn't let her get in trouble, so I told her the truth. I was grounded for two weeks for the cigarettes and two weeks for lying. I realized then, the truth is the best solution.
Why do children lie? It often depends on their developmental stage. For instance, preschoolers tell tall tales because of an overactive imagination, young kids fib to please their parents and older kids (teenagers) lie to solve problems or get themselves out of trouble. Although the ways to minimize lying will vary depending on your child's age, ineffective ways of responding to your child's lying are the same. Here are the most effective ways to responding to untruthfulness, plus four parental habits that should be broken.
Four Habits to Lose

1. Don't have unrealistic expectations of your child, as this encourages a child to lie to meet your approval.

2. Don't say, "If you tell the truth you won't get in trouble"--and then punish her/him when he/she admits a wrong doing.

3. Don't tell white lies. This teaches your child to do the same. If a friend calls whom your son/daughter doesn't want to talk to, don't say, "Justin's not home right now".

4.Don't set your kid up. If you know he/she left their homework at home, don't ask, "how did your teacher like your story?"


The Best Ways to Respond to Lying


When your preschooler tells a tall tale, say:

• 
  "Wow, you have a great imagination!"


• "Tell me more. It's fun to play make believe."


• "What a great story. Sometimes I wish I lived in a castle."

If your school-aged child fibs, say:

• 
  "Although you said you did your homework, I can see you haven't. Next time I'd rather you tell me the truth.



• "I realize you've told me something that isn't entirely true. In the future I'd rather you be honest."


• 
  "We all make mistakes. Next time just let me know what happened without changing the facts."

When your teenager lies, say:

• 
  "Every problem has a solution. Why don't you tell me what's going on so I can help you.


• "There have been many tomes in my life when I thought the best way to solve a problem was to avoid it. But this never proved right."


• "You seem to be having a problem, I'm here to help if you would like to talk about it."

Obviously, there is no magic way to bring up a child. All you can do is try to set a good example, teach them good morals and be there for them.


"The most powerful lessons are the ones that come from how we face adversity in our own lives."(Dr. Cathryn Tobin-Parents Problem Solver;Smart Solutions for Everyday Discipline and Behavior Problems.) Works Cited: gracebasedparenting.com babycenter.com

Terrible Twos

My daughter has always been very well behaved. She hardly takes a fit at home and used to never take a fit in the store. She is always helping me do things like the laundry or sweep the floor. To her these things are like a game. I also learned quickly as she was growing it was good to give her choices for things such as does she want an apple or banana with lunch. Then one day that changed, at first I thought she wasn’t feeling well since this is not normal behavior for her. But as the random tantrums would continue, and even included an episode in the store where she tried to bite me because she had to stay in the buggy, I realized that we have begun the terrible twos.

It is something we parents know little about until it hits us. Known as the terrible twos it can actually strike anywhere from 18 months to 30 months. This is the stage where our children are trying to establish their independence. They are now realizing “Hey, I am my own person.” And boy when they discover this watch out. It is not a bad thing that your child has entered this stage but it can be frustrating. She/he is learning now to make choices that are right for them. But one of the problems is that children this age have yet to develop their communicating their feelings or needs to the full extent. This is why you may find your child throwing themselves to the floor in a tantrum.

Watch for these signs if of your child hitting this developmental stage:

· Throwing self to floor if not getting their way

· You say not to do something and your child goes and does it. A lot of times they will watch for a reaction from you.

· Persistence use of the word NO

· Becoming aggressive when they are normally non aggressive such as hitting, biting, etc...

· Testing boundaries

· Mood changes- happy one second, throwing a huge fit the next

This stage can be very frustrating. Especially, if your child has started hitting or just seems to be non-stop cranky. There are some ways that you can work with your child on their new found independence. It is very important not to yell or hit back. If you do so your child is just going to learn that behavior is okay. It also does not help the issue of your child learning to communicate their feelings properly.

Here are some ways you can work with your child when it comes to this stage:

· Structure seems to be the key to children when it comes to anything including the terrible twos. Set times for when you do things such as eat, play, bath, nap, etc…

· Acknowledge their emotion: “I understand you are mad.” “It can be frustrating when you can’t have a new toy.”

· Give them choices: “Do you want to color with crayons or play with your doll?” “Do you want chicken or mac n cheese?”

· Set limits and do not give in every time. Children are testing boundaries for a reason they want to see how far they can go. If they see that you will give in every time then they will consistently take a fit every time until they get their way.

· Have a time out spot. You may need to use it.

· Comfort your child. With my daughter just picking her up and hugging her helps when she gets in a mood. Spend a little bit of time cuddling and they will feel a little better.

· Distraction helps in situations other ones don’t. For example we always bring a book or toy with us to the store. If my daughter wants something I will pull out her doll and slowly move from the isle.

· Separation works to. Sometimes just leaving the area can diffuse your child’s temper. Or if there is a specific thing they want move it from their sight.

· Give in occasionally. Some things are so little that are they really worth waiting out a tantrum. After all they are establishing their independence.

· If your child is throwing themselves to the floor. Be sure to move them somewhere they are less likely to get hurt. You wouldn’t want them hitting their head on a hard floor.

· Something that works for my daughter is I throw on some classical music. Rather it be through YouTube or off a cd she loves it and its calming. This one works well Classical baby .

The terrible twos can be frustrating and they can feel like it goes on forever. This is also a good time to make sure your house is really child proofed. Because if they are told to not go in cupboards believe me they will attempt it. The main thing is to stay calm and remove yourself if you feel overly frustrated. Know you are not alone most toddlers go through this stage

Resources::

(Baby Center Your 20-month-old's social and emotional development: Terrible twos preview) http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-20-month-olds-social-and-emotional-development-terrible_1273321.bc

(Baby Center Your 20-month-old's social and emotional development: Terrible twos preview; Find out how to handle the terrible twos without pulling out your hair.)http://www.squidoo.com/how_to_handle_terrible-twos

Excitements and Anxieties

     No matter what age, no matter what career you have, no matter your relationship status or how big your house is, and no matter how much money you have; finding out you’re pregnant for the first time makes you scared and thrilled all at the same time. So many things run through your mind when you first find out you’re having a baby and even at random times of the day when you’re just thinking of things. When people ask me “Are you excited?” the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “Uhm…”
     Of course I’m excited though! Its my son! I’m going to be a mom! I’m going to do something that people have done since the beginning of time but is still a miracle every time it happens. The thought of loving someone more then you could imagine and having the feeling returned can make anyone smile. And not to mention all the adorable clothes, being able to set up the nursery, seeing him smile for the first time plus crawl, walk, talk, and use the potty on his own! Knowing that I created life and to that little boy I’m everything makes me want this pregnancy to just fly by! But thinking about being a good mom, knowing what to do when to do it, and just the thought of starting a family and raising a little boy to be a good man makes me want to keep him inside of me forever!
     I just got out of high school, I don’t have a career or even a major, I’m still living at home, and my care free life is going to be cut short with new responsibilities of being a mother. In other words; I’m terrified. I’ve only been with my baby’s father for a little over a year now and we had some time apart in the past. About a month after getting back together we found out we were pregnant. Though I love him and I know he loves me, I do realize we’re still young and things change. I’m terrified of ending up alone and having to go through a nasty custody battle like you hear about all the time. The thought of leading a life like my mother terrifies me even though I know she wouldn’t trade any of it. She’s way stronger then I could ever be.
     Sometimes I just don’t know what I’m going to do and other times I think I have it all figured out. For now I already know that I wouldn’t want to go back and I can’t wait for my son to look at me for the first time. Everyone gets scared, but they can get through it. I guess I’m just waiting to find out how strong I really am. No matter what happens I know that I’ll have the support I need to get by. And even though that thought doesn’t always help me to feel better, I know that this is going to be the greatest experience of my life. -By Nicole Shaffer

Protecting teens from smoking, drugs, ect..By Bev Gayman.

The last thing we we want as parents is for our teens to act like adults and that's exactly what they want to do. Smoking, to them, seems like the grown up thing to do. I smoke and I tried to explain to my boys that it is not cool, it stinks, it causes cancer and it's a waste of money. It didn't work they smoke. I can't really be mad at them for it, I mean they grew up watching me do it, so in hind sight, it's my fault.

If I could go back and do anything different with my life it would be quit smoking. I have tried so many times. But, If I would have known what I know now. If I could have seen the future. I would be a non-smoker today. I didn't smoke when I was pregnant, so it's not like I can't do it. I just enjoy it. My boys always hated it. They complained about it, so I never thought they would do it, but they do.

My advice to a parent that smokes is to quit. Even if your child says it stinks. The chances of them smoking is great. You quiting makes their chance of starting very low.

When I was Growing up in Greene County the hardest drug around was marijuana. I'm not saying that's OK. But it's candy compared to the drugs these kids are doing today. I was reading an article in the observer reporter the other day. An officer was at the West Greene High School lecturing on heroin. he said "The average life of a heroin addict is ages 17-24, why 24?, because they don't live past 24".

Heroin is here. It is the worst drug to come to the community. It is being snorted, shot up with needles and even mixed with cocaine or downers. It is killing our teens and young adults. The D.E.A. is doing everything they can to control it, but it not stopping the deaths.

We as a community have to help. We need to help any one we know who is on these drugs. They say you can't help anyone that don't want help. That is not true. We have support groups. We can talk to these addicts and give them the help they want and need. If you know anyone on heroin, which I'm sure a lot of you do. This drug is taking over our community. I myself have known 5 people that it has killed in the past 3 years. Someone very close to me is addicted to it. They are in jail right now. I know it sounds terrible,but I am relieved that he is there. With him there I know he is safe. It's my son. My oldest. This subject hits home for me. I have done everything in my power to help him. He does want help. I believe they all do. No matter how much they say they don't want to quit. There's a deep down problem that their trying to forget and the drug helps them do that. If someone you know has a drug problem, help them, let them know their not alone. Their are rehabs and support groups out their for you and them.

I'm sorry I couldn't get to get this video to copy, but it is worth watching. You can copy on your address bar and watch it. If you know someone that needs help it will be useful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ97lIJUDdc&feature=related
For treatment and rehabilitation

http://www.greenbriar.net/

Dealing with GERD: Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disorder

By Alison Pawlikowsky

        According to Ningthoujam Sandhyarani of Buzzle.com, it is estimated that more half of infants suffer from Acid Reflux in the first three months of their lives. Gastro esophageal reflux disorder simply means acid reflux, the upward movement of the stomach content, including acid, into the esophagus and sometimes into or out of the mouth. Most of the time acid reflux in infants is caused by a poorly coordinated gastrointestinal tract. Most infants with the condition are most otherwise healthy; however, some infants can have problems affecting the brain, nerves or muscles.




The most common symptoms of GERD in infants and children:




• are frequent or recurrent vomiting
• frequent or persistent cough
• Heartburn, gas, or abdominal pain
• Colicky behavior (frequent or excessive crying and fussiness)
• Arching of the back
• Regurgitation or re-swallowing




GERD also has problems associated with it in young children such as:




• Colic
• Feeding Problems
• Recurrent choking or gagging
• Poor growth
• Breathing problems
• Recurrent wheezing
• Recurrent pneumonia




Parents provide details to doctors such as GI Specialists in order to make most diagnoses but not all are easily identified. Doctor’s do a number of tests including:




• Barium swallow or upper GI series. This is a special X-ray test that uses barium to highlight the esophagus, stomach and upper part of the small intestine. This test may identify certain problems such as any obstructions or narrowing in these areas.
• pH probe. This is currently considered the best test to diagnose reflux, but it does not always manage to detect the disease. In this test, a thin tube with a probe at the tip is placed through the nose into the esophagus. The tip, usually positioned at the lower part of the esophagus, measures levels of stomach acids. The frequency of reflux is monitored over a prolonged period of time, usually 24 hours.
• Upper GI endoscopy. During this test the doctor uses an endoscope (a thin, flexible lighted tube) to look directly inside the esophagus, stomach and upper part of the small intestine. Pinch biopsies of the esophagus obtained at the time of endoscopy may determine the presence of reflux.
• Gastric emptying study. During this test, the child drinks milk or eats food mixed with a safe radioactive chemical. This chemical is followed through the gastrointestinal tract using a special camera




Once a child is diagnosed GERD is treated by:




• Making changes in the child’s lifestyle by:
• Elevate the head of the baby's crib or bassinet
• Hold the baby upright for 30 minutes after a feeding
• Thicken bottle feedings with cereal (do not do this without a doctor's supervision)
• Change feeding schedules (discuss with the child's doctor first)
• Try solid food (discuss with the child's doctor first)




If nothing changes in a child’s condition after making these lifestyle changes medicine may be prescribed by a doctor to treat symptoms such as:




• Anti-acids such as Mylanta or Maalox
• Acid blockers such as Pepcid, Tagamet or Zantac
• Proton-Pump Inhibitors (PPI’s) such as Axid, Nexium, Prevacid and Prilosec
o These PPI’s reduce the production of acid by blocking the enzyme in the wall of the stomach that produces acid


        Medicines that decrease intestinal gas or neutralize stomach acid (antacids) are considered safe. However, at high doses, antacids can cause some side effects, such as diarrhea or constipation. Chronic use of very high doses of antacids also may be associated with an increased risk of rickets (thinning of the bones). Although serious side effects are rare, it is important to discuss with your child's doctor the pros and cons of taking a prescription medication.




Other medications used to treat GERD are those that attempt to improve coordination of the gastrointestinal tract. These include:




• Reglan. Reglan reduces symptoms of GERD by speeding up the digestion process. However, it is associated with many side effects, some of which can be serious. Reglan also can be associated with a number of drug interactions and may increase the risk of seizures in people who have seizures.
• Erythromycin. This is an antibiotic that is usually used to treat bacterial infections. It causes strong stomach contractions which eases reflux; however, this effect is not lasting.
• Propulsid. This drug was voluntarily withdrawn from the U.S. market in 2000. However, it is still available with extremely limited access. The drug works by increasing the rate that food moves through the intestines. The drug is very effective for treating childhood reflux; however, it is associated with abnormal heart rhythms.
Your child's doctor will discuss the pros and cons of these medications before prescribing them for your child.




        If your child is not gaining enough weight the doctor may suggest surgery. Surgery is not often used to treat GERD in children. When it is necessary, the Nissen Fundoplication is the most often performed surgery. During this procedure, the top part of the stomach is wrapped around the lower esophagus. This procedure forms a cuff that contracts and closes off the esophagus when the stomach contracts, preventing reflux. In some patients, a Pyloroplasty to improve gastric emptying may be performed at the same time. A Pyloroplasty is a surgical procedure in which the lower portion of the stomach, the pylorus, is cut and re-sutured to relax the muscle and widen the opening into the intestine. The Nissen fundoplication procedure is usually effective, but it is not without risk. Discuss the potential risks and benefits of this operation with your child's doctor.




        Both of my daughters were both diagnosed shortly after birth with GERD. It makes your life a lot more difficult than with a non-gerd baby. Your baby may cry and scream for hours for no apparent reason or arch their back as if they are mad. It’s very hard not being able to help your baby when you know their fed, changed, and have all their needs met. You know there’s something wrong but you just can’t tell. My first daughter never spit up, she just arched her back and kicked and screamed as if she was in pain. She was constantly fussy as if she had colic. After being so fed up from not knowing what was wrong with my baby I immediately took her to children’s hospital where she was diagnosed with GERD and immediately put on Zantac and Allimentum. She was instantly cured. No more restless and sleepless nights. My second daughter on the other hand hasn’t been so lucky, she wasn’t diagnosed with GERD until after she suffered from RSV. She still to this day constantly throws up between feedings and after. She is a constant spitter. She gets belly aches all the time but the Zantac doesn’t help. She is on Allimentum as well but I guess I am not as lucky as with my first. GERD is something sometimes you just have to deal with, it’s hard seeing your child like this but most infants grow out of GERD. Y first has grown out of it at about 6 months, once she was consistently eating baby food. My second is only 3 months old and spits up constantly, has gas and is very fussy. It can be very frustrating at times but I know one day she will grow out of it and I will have no worries so I cherish the days and nights with her as if nothing was wrong.

Works Cited

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gerd/DS00967/DSECTION=symptoms

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/infant-gerd-triggers-risks-and-treatment.html