Why Do Our Children Lie? By; Bev Gayman

I remember one time, I was 15 years old, my mom found cigarettes in my book bag. I told her they weren't mine, that they belonged to a friend, I was just holding them for her. Well, little did I know, my mom knew her mom and she was going to call her. I couldn't let her get in trouble, so I told her the truth. I was grounded for two weeks for the cigarettes and two weeks for lying. I realized then, the truth is the best solution.
Why do children lie? It often depends on their developmental stage. For instance, preschoolers tell tall tales because of an overactive imagination, young kids fib to please their parents and older kids (teenagers) lie to solve problems or get themselves out of trouble. Although the ways to minimize lying will vary depending on your child's age, ineffective ways of responding to your child's lying are the same. Here are the most effective ways to responding to untruthfulness, plus four parental habits that should be broken.
Four Habits to Lose

1. Don't have unrealistic expectations of your child, as this encourages a child to lie to meet your approval.

2. Don't say, "If you tell the truth you won't get in trouble"--and then punish her/him when he/she admits a wrong doing.

3. Don't tell white lies. This teaches your child to do the same. If a friend calls whom your son/daughter doesn't want to talk to, don't say, "Justin's not home right now".

4.Don't set your kid up. If you know he/she left their homework at home, don't ask, "how did your teacher like your story?"


The Best Ways to Respond to Lying


When your preschooler tells a tall tale, say:

• 
  "Wow, you have a great imagination!"


• "Tell me more. It's fun to play make believe."


• "What a great story. Sometimes I wish I lived in a castle."

If your school-aged child fibs, say:

• 
  "Although you said you did your homework, I can see you haven't. Next time I'd rather you tell me the truth.



• "I realize you've told me something that isn't entirely true. In the future I'd rather you be honest."


• 
  "We all make mistakes. Next time just let me know what happened without changing the facts."

When your teenager lies, say:

• 
  "Every problem has a solution. Why don't you tell me what's going on so I can help you.


• "There have been many tomes in my life when I thought the best way to solve a problem was to avoid it. But this never proved right."


• "You seem to be having a problem, I'm here to help if you would like to talk about it."

Obviously, there is no magic way to bring up a child. All you can do is try to set a good example, teach them good morals and be there for them.


"The most powerful lessons are the ones that come from how we face adversity in our own lives."(Dr. Cathryn Tobin-Parents Problem Solver;Smart Solutions for Everyday Discipline and Behavior Problems.) Works Cited: gracebasedparenting.com babycenter.com