Dealing with angry, raged teens

There is so much to take in when your little boy/girl hits puberty. I'm not real familiar with girls, but I have nieces and have seen the changes in them. I have to say, I always wanted a girl, but once my nieces become teenagers I was glad I had three boys. When they start to develop into young adults their demeanor changes. It's like they are stuck somewhere between a child and an adult. Teenagers have a lot of stress. Peer pressure alone is stressful. Add to that, grades, sports and in most cases a part-time job. Anyone who has a teenager or knows one with a drivers license probably knows that the price of insurance skyrockets when you add a teen to your policy. That is a whole other blog.

All of this can stress out a young person. When we get stressed, we get angry, we argue and sometimes there is rage. The same goes for teenagers. They don't have the life experiences that adults have to deal with that anger. I'm pretty open minded. I don't like to argue. Although I have had many arguments. Mostly with my teenage sons. I try not to judge people, but you have to judge your teen. It's your job. You have to steer them in the right direction. No matter how hard you try, sometimes they make a wrong turn.

Things have changed so much since I was a teenager in the 80's. I'm not sure why, but I think a big part of it is we are not allowed to strike our children. Not that I would beat my kids if I wouldn't go to jail. Though I have threatened to. It is pounded in their heads 'call the cops. This, to me, is telling a child, do whatever you want. I have smacked my boys on the butt. That works when they are younger, until they get a little older and they laugh at you.

Surveys say that the number one way teenagers resolve an argument is fighting. And teenage boys are twice as likely to hurt someone else worse than they hurt them, than teenage girls. They say kids who bully others have difficulties with their relationships with their parents and other adults. I say if you teach your child early not to bully and raise them by "the golden rule", do onto others as you would want done to you. We wouldn't have half the fighting, arguing and raged teens that we have today.

There are very few people who don't get filled with rage at one time or another. Even as adults we lose our temper. We can help our teenagers with anger and rage in several ways. Therapy is an option, but from personal experiences, talking to your teen and having a trusting relationship is the most effective way. It was for me. If my boys have a problem or need to talk, they know they can tell me anything and they do. Let them know they are not alone, there's always help.