Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pregnant Two Years in a Row

By: Alison Pawlikowsky
Blog Post # 2
       I believe one of the hardest things to deal with when you have two babies is trying to not make one feel left out or unwanted. I believe it is hard to spend an equal amount of time with both of them, which is what people tend to forget when they decide to have children only one year apart. It’s not something people realize that there’s only of you and two of them. They don’t realize what the future will be like, two times the baths, feedings, quality time and everything that goes along with raising a child, times two. I believe being pregnant two years in a row, whether planned or unplanned has its advantages and disadvantages.



Having children one year apart is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. It’s so hard to manage their activities of daily living such as bathing, feeding, changing, playing, etc. It seems like once you get one settled the other starts up and you never get time to yourself to even breathe. A mother is exhausted just from taking care of them; it’s hard to find time for their selves. Some disadvantages of having two children so close in age would be that you have two times of everything to do. Getting them ready to go out is challenging enough let alone to have to put them both in the car, take them both out, carry them both if one can’t walk yet, it’s impossible to do yourself. Another thing is not to make one feel unimportant, jealousy takes its toll. Children don’t understand why babies need so much attention, so at times your older child will feel unwanted. They will eventually get over it though as they grow older. When having two children you have to make sure you have someone to support and help you with things like that. It’s very difficult to deal with them both screaming or them both being sick. You barely get time to yourself or do even do anything for yourself, especially if you have other things to do such as work or school. These are things people need to remind themselves of before they decide to have children close in age. I love my children with all my heart but I do wish I had more time to do things for myself. I used to never have to do anything for anyone but when you make the commitment of a family, things change big time. I gave up a lot becoming a mom, friends, social life, and importantly time for myself. It’s also hard not to make one feel unwanted or left out, or you feel like you’re giving one more time than the other. It’s very emotional and psychologically draining in a way.


If you can handle having two children close in age your life will be filled with excitement and most of the time total chaos. Knowing you have two times the fun times, smiles and unforgettable moments is one of the best feelings in the world that can’t be traded for anything. There are a lot of advantages of having two babies, not just disadvantages. If your children are close in age they will always have someone there with them besides you. Think of it as a playmate for life. They’ll never feel lonely or need someone to play with. You won’t have to be the center of their attention 24/7. It might be overwhelming at times but no matter how you’re feeling that day, seeing their smiling faces every day when you wake up is worth it. When you have an older child as well one thing is that as they grow older they tend you tries to help you do things. You’ll always have a little helper by your side.



There tends to be more disadvantages of having 2 children close in age than advantages and I don’t believe it’s for everyone, but if you can handle this situation, I think you can handle anything. It definitely makes a person stronger dealing with something so overwhelming. In the long run I believe people in these situations are happy. Some people don’t plan it which why it be a frightening situation. But as they grow older it’s something you would never regret. After having older parents myself, I believe my children will be happier having younger parents versus older. There’s a sense of knowing I’ll most likely get to spend a longer amount of time with them. I know this from experience and I wish my parents were younger. If you have children younger and close together, they’ll be your everything and you’ll be happy that you got it done and over with. People have their own opinions and based upon my own experience and other’s posts online, I think anyone with two children have similar views.

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13 comments:

  1. Hi Alison,
    I loved your blog and I agree there are advantages and diadvantages to having children one year apart. One advantage is that they can share their toys and use the same baby equiptment. They can each wear some of the Carter baby outfits that seem to cost so much and never wear out.

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  2. Alison,
    I enjoyed reading what you are going though it kept me drawn in and I liked that you covered the positives and the negatives of the situation. Then at the end you put them together and voice yourself from the heart.
    Donald Findley

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  3. Alison,
    You did a nice job with the picture. It has such a motherly look to it.
    Of course the content was informative too.

    Ruth Hall

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  4. Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad of children close together. All to often I hear, "when are you going to have another one?" Some people do not think of these points that you have made. I personally am having too much fun with my daughter to bring another child into the world right now but agree with the double the love comment. I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep up the good work! Christina C

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  5. I like how you pointed out both sides to having children close together. I like having just one child for now so I don't often think of the benefits of having another one sooner when my friends discuss their pregnancies. I'm glad you pointed some of them out.

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  6. Hey everyone, thanks for all the positive comments. I just wanted everyone to realize how truely dedicating it is, if your not ready for it, wait. Sometimes I feel like my 15 month old is bored and I don't spend enough time with her.But as she grows older she'll be alrite. Thanks for the support.

    Alison

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  7. Hi Ali,

    I just wanted to say, glad its not me! You are right about having your children at a young age. My kids were almost two years apart and born when I was 20 and 22 years old. It's tough supporting them and giving up a little youth of your own but it is also nice when you're in your mid forties and they are through college and now you have that freedom that you missed. I think it's worth it. Nice job Ali.

    Frank

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  8. Ali, Great post. My two oldest are 2 years apart. they are now and always have been very close. I know it seems overwelming sometimes,but it all balances out. Just enjoy them. Everyone always told me how fast they grow and before you know it these years are gone. They are 20 and 22 now. It seems like yesterday they were 2 and 4. It is unbelievable how fast the years go by. Take a lot of pictures.

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  9. This was very interesting, but you had a lot of grammar issues such as when you ment to say that there is one of you and two of them. Take a little extra time to proof ready and watch wordy sentences. My manager just had one 13 months ago and she is having another on thursday. I could not imagine juggling two with school and work. I liked how you put some advantages and disadvantages. Good post keep it up!
    Kendra McCracken

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  10. Alison,

    I don't have children, but my sister has triplets. I have seen first hand how difficult it can be. Just remember that they won't be little forever.

    Samantha

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  11. Hey ali, nice blog. I only have one little guy and I could'nt imagine having another one right now. The thought of taking any time away from his little world bothers me, he's so happy being mommys boy. Good work!

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  12. Alison, you received lots of great feedback here. I specifically agree with Don's comments on your organization. You raise a great point, a major issue for parents here, just as Bev did in her post. Your parenting blog is coming together because of so many great posts by your group members. Nice job to you and to them as well.

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  13. Impressive web site, Distinguished feedback that I can tackle. Im moving forward and may apply to my current job as a pet sitter, which is very enjoyable, but I need to additional expand. Regards. mommyblogger

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