Terrible Twos

My daughter has always been very well behaved. She hardly takes a fit at home and used to never take a fit in the store. She is always helping me do things like the laundry or sweep the floor. To her these things are like a game. I also learned quickly as she was growing it was good to give her choices for things such as does she want an apple or banana with lunch. Then one day that changed, at first I thought she wasn’t feeling well since this is not normal behavior for her. But as the random tantrums would continue, and even included an episode in the store where she tried to bite me because she had to stay in the buggy, I realized that we have begun the terrible twos.

It is something we parents know little about until it hits us. Known as the terrible twos it can actually strike anywhere from 18 months to 30 months. This is the stage where our children are trying to establish their independence. They are now realizing “Hey, I am my own person.” And boy when they discover this watch out. It is not a bad thing that your child has entered this stage but it can be frustrating. She/he is learning now to make choices that are right for them. But one of the problems is that children this age have yet to develop their communicating their feelings or needs to the full extent. This is why you may find your child throwing themselves to the floor in a tantrum.

Watch for these signs if of your child hitting this developmental stage:

· Throwing self to floor if not getting their way

· You say not to do something and your child goes and does it. A lot of times they will watch for a reaction from you.

· Persistence use of the word NO

· Becoming aggressive when they are normally non aggressive such as hitting, biting, etc...

· Testing boundaries

· Mood changes- happy one second, throwing a huge fit the next

This stage can be very frustrating. Especially, if your child has started hitting or just seems to be non-stop cranky. There are some ways that you can work with your child on their new found independence. It is very important not to yell or hit back. If you do so your child is just going to learn that behavior is okay. It also does not help the issue of your child learning to communicate their feelings properly.

Here are some ways you can work with your child when it comes to this stage:

· Structure seems to be the key to children when it comes to anything including the terrible twos. Set times for when you do things such as eat, play, bath, nap, etc…

· Acknowledge their emotion: “I understand you are mad.” “It can be frustrating when you can’t have a new toy.”

· Give them choices: “Do you want to color with crayons or play with your doll?” “Do you want chicken or mac n cheese?”

· Set limits and do not give in every time. Children are testing boundaries for a reason they want to see how far they can go. If they see that you will give in every time then they will consistently take a fit every time until they get their way.

· Have a time out spot. You may need to use it.

· Comfort your child. With my daughter just picking her up and hugging her helps when she gets in a mood. Spend a little bit of time cuddling and they will feel a little better.

· Distraction helps in situations other ones don’t. For example we always bring a book or toy with us to the store. If my daughter wants something I will pull out her doll and slowly move from the isle.

· Separation works to. Sometimes just leaving the area can diffuse your child’s temper. Or if there is a specific thing they want move it from their sight.

· Give in occasionally. Some things are so little that are they really worth waiting out a tantrum. After all they are establishing their independence.

· If your child is throwing themselves to the floor. Be sure to move them somewhere they are less likely to get hurt. You wouldn’t want them hitting their head on a hard floor.

· Something that works for my daughter is I throw on some classical music. Rather it be through YouTube or off a cd she loves it and its calming. This one works well Classical baby .

The terrible twos can be frustrating and they can feel like it goes on forever. This is also a good time to make sure your house is really child proofed. Because if they are told to not go in cupboards believe me they will attempt it. The main thing is to stay calm and remove yourself if you feel overly frustrated. Know you are not alone most toddlers go through this stage

Resources::

(Baby Center Your 20-month-old's social and emotional development: Terrible twos preview) http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-20-month-olds-social-and-emotional-development-terrible_1273321.bc

(Baby Center Your 20-month-old's social and emotional development: Terrible twos preview; Find out how to handle the terrible twos without pulling out your hair.)http://www.squidoo.com/how_to_handle_terrible-twos